Hiei's Pet Shop
by WolfRunner326
Summary: Sequal to Hiei Vs. The Squirrels! YES! THE TORTURE CONTINUES! Hiei is placed in a Pet Shop to pay off his debt. In  which another war beguins with Hiei and the fluffy creatures of Harry's Happy Pets. Has a little cursing, not much.
1. You're Hired!

WolfRunner: HIIIII!

Yusuke: GAH! It's the herald of doom RUN!

(WolfRunner hits him with a frying pan)

WolfRunner: Where was I? Oh yeah, I was looking at my stuff on my profile and thought: Say…there's not a lot of Yu Yu Hakusho comedy on my profile.

Yusuke: Damn straight.

WolfRunner: After the success with Hiei Vs. The Squirrels, I had an evil thought: I left an opening for a sequel. Why the hell am I doing this when I already have two stories for fan fiction plus my novel I'm working on, I have no idea. Since I like to wait for more reviews before I move on with a certain story and I have writer's block for my novel (curses) I decided to do what I do best on Fan fiction, DELICIOUS CHARACTER TORTURE MUHAHAHAHAHA!

Kurama: Oh no…

Hiei: Great…

Random Person: HELL YEAH!

WolfRunner: Yes! Now Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you…HIEI…..'s Pet Shop

Disclaimer: I need to watch Yu Yu Hakusho again; also I don't own it, planning on owning the DVDs hee hee :D

('.') ( '.' ) ('.')

Hiei was sitting on the roof of a building with his five new friends, Lee, Lala, Bushtail, Jhon, and Abby. He was taking a break from fixing John Travolta's face after a …erm… incident. To sum it all up; a rescue mission that ended with disaster, which he had to pay for. Already he was facing a rather large fine, (as far as he can tell it was at least $5000) and a very pissed off Koenma.

_At least I don't have to worry about lack of ice cream anymore _Hiei thought as he took a bite out of his ice cream sandwich. Well, technically he wasn't supposed to have it, but with the help of his squirrely friends, he was able to get some ice cream. He took another bite and leaned back, mmmmm.

_"Can I have the wrapper?" _Lee asked.

"No! It'll screw up your digestive system!" Hiei said, Lee looked at him with pitiful doe brown eyes.

"HIEI!" The voice of the Spirit Detective rang. Hiei snapped into action. If he was caught with ice cream, he may lose it even more. He quickly stuffed the sandwich into his mouth and fed the wrapper to Lee, who squeaked with joy. A loud BANG echoed as Yusuke opened the door with more force than necessary.

"Yo Short Round! Got a message from the Baby Boss for ya!" Yusuke said. Hiei felt a vein pop out of his forehead at the 'Short Round' comment.

"What does he want?" Hiei said through gritted teeth.

"Promise not to kill the messenger okay?" Yusuke asked hesitantly.

"Better hurry up then." Yusuke sweat dropped

"Okay, okay. Well you have that large fine you have to pay for right? Well Koenma pulled some strings and got you a job!" Yusuke said with a smile, it faded away at Hiei's face. If looks could kill: 15 puppies would be dead by now. Yusuke backed up with his hands in front of him in a sign of peace, "look Hiei you said you wouldn't kill the messenger! OOH LOOK! YUKINA'S KISSING KUWABARA!" Yusuke pointed at a random direction and ran off. Hiei huffed. Well it can't be that bad.

**SUPER TRANSISTION OF AWESOME!**

"A pet shop?" Hiei almost growled at the store in front of him 'Harry's Happy Pets'. Lala shook her head sadly

"_Yes, you and fluffy things don't seem to get along." _She said sadly

"Hey, you're still alive aren't you?" Hiei asked cocking one eyebrow.

"_Good point…" _Lala sighed. Hiei opened the door to a menagerie of squawking, squeaking, purring, barking, meowing, and glubbing (FISHIES!) bunch of pets. Soon a guy literally bounced his way towards Hiei.

"HIIIIIIIIII!" The man said in an overly happy voice, Hiei thought he looked like a yellow blob, He's too happy, "I'm Harry your new manager! How would you like a tour of the place?"

"Uh…?" Hiei started but was quickly interrupted when Harry grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him along.

"Right this way! This is where the cats and dogs are…" Hiei stopped listening to him as Harry quickly talked about his job and what chores he had to do. Damn that stupid baby and his 'ideas' something has to be done, somehow.

"OKAY! I'm off to do things, have fun and I'll pay you later in the week kkthxbye!" Harry bounced off to be happy somewhere else. Hiei sighed, he needed to be angry at someone, but who? Surely not the squirrels nestled away in his coat. He looked around and saw a green parrot glaring at him. He glared back, he suddenly had an idea though. He pulled out a cracker and placed it just out of reach of the green beast.

"Does…"He saw the birds name was Swirl, "Swirl want a cracker? Swirl can't get a cracker." Swirl twittered angrily in his cage and Jhon tried to talk sense into Hiei.

_"Uh, Hiei? I don't think it's a smart idea to make fun of the bird." _

"What's the beast going to do? Will he –"

SPLAT!

Swirl had an evil grin on its beak (yes, evil parrots can grin) Hiei looked down to see the bird hit a bullseye on his boot. He sighed, this is going to be a painful event

('.') ( '.' ) ('.')

Hiei: 0

Pets: 1

WolfRunner: (She sits back in her chair) Yes, a job well done!

Kurama: You do know that Transition wrong –

WolfRunner: I DON'T CARE! Anyway I have credit to give where it's due. The character Harry is based off a happy yellow math teacher by Gejimayo. Go to this website to see the comic .com/gallery/#/d2rjnui

WolfRunner: Yeah I know it was shorter than most of my chapters, but to be honest I'm being rushed here so I gotta hurry this up, rate and review, give me fan art and cookies and –

Hiei: WOLFRUNNER!

WolfRunner: Fine! Gotta go :D


	2. Cat Bath

WolfRunner: Hello once again! I am in bed and in a writing mood, working on three projects and once and I thought: What the hell, work on this as well. Even though I has no idea what to write. So I'll just write until brilliant idea comes along. Now ONTO THE REVIEWS!

Goldensunflowerhikari777: That's cheating! Well maybe it's not cause technically it's a review…YOU MAKE BRAIN HURT!

T. R. Blessing: Hooray for glombs! Not sure what it is but whatever, we shall have oodles of fun and

torture :D.

Phantomxofxmystery: YES! I have corrupted more people into watching that! Muhahahaha!

MikaUchiha666: COOKIES *noms* Ooh and button let's try it out

Hiei: NO! *ZAP*

WolfRunner: IT WORKS! Also your cat just gave me an idea thank you! *Glombs*

WolfRunner: Before we move on into the story I have an announcement before I forget. In another story

Like this, I took requests for my story, granted I only got one but I digress, you give me a message or a review with a request, I will do my best to put it into the story. I do this to get closer to my readers and in all honesty, it saves me brain power to come up with ideas. ONWARD TO VICTORY

Disclaimer: The evil one-eyed blue Cyclops of doom does not own Yu Yu Hakusho, and neither do I

"And you must take good care of Mi Mi! Remember, she needs a tender skin shampoo that has to

be rubbed in for five minutes before rinsing." A rich old lady told Hiei, who was holding a purring black cat.

"I know."

"Then you must -""Lady," Hiei said trying not to yell at the woman and ripping his hair out, "You told me three times, please go to your appointment."

"Let me say goodbye to Mi Mi first. Who's a good little kitty? Are you going to be a good girl? Awww, who's mummy's baby?" The lady then resorted to baby talk and both Hiei and Mi Mi felt like throwing up. Once the lady was _finally _done. Hiei scooped up the cat and went to the back room to give the cat a groom. Why he was doing this, no clue. Why some lady would force her cat to be groom he still had no idea. He just did his job. Once, the lady left the store however, Mi Mi started squirming and yowling. Hiei gritted his teeth before slamming the door, locking him and the cat in.

"I know you don't want this but I have to do it. I have no quarrel with you." Hiei explained. The cat hissed at him and he hissed back. Hiei sent the squirrels to the rodent section so they can socialize with the other critters, meaning he was on his own with the cat. Hiei started filling the tub and the cat gave him a nasty scratch. On instinct he dropped Mi Mi who fled under a desk. Hiei swore before sucking on his cut and crawling after the cat.

"Mi Mi? Come on out! You stupid fur ball." More hissing, Hiei kept talking, "This is going to happen so don't make me have to drag you out tail first, cause I will!" Mi Mi growled at him. Hiei sighed.

"I swear to Enma, that if you don't get your furry ass out of there I'll make this place so hot you'll come out as a hairless sphinx!"

"Hiei is everything alrigh-" Harry came in opening the door.

"CLOSE THE DOOR1"Too late, Mi Mi shot out like a rocket and into the store. Hiei cursed and ran after her. If only Harry wasn't there, he could use his extreme speed to grab the cat and bring it back. The first thing Mi Mi did was knock over the cricket tank, allowing hundreds of crickets to escape. At the sound of shattering glass, Mi Mi poofed up and ran (of course) right into the rodent section. Terrified squeaking echoed throughout the store. One of the hamsters passed out from fear. The 5 squirrels freaked out, they remembered the last cat. At the sight of all the little rodents Mi Mi stopped and started salivating. She jumped up and started batting Jhon with her paw. Jhon stepped back and started yelling at Mi Mi.

"_Begone vile creature! Your kind is not welcome here!" _

"_Oh no you don't you stupid cat, the only one allowed to torture those squirrels are me." Hiei lunged, destroying more cages as he grabbed the squirming cat while the other employees scrambled to gather the fleeing rodents. The squirrels hid themselves in Hiei's cloak. Hiei then took the cat into the grooming room to get cleaned_

"_Aww, who's my little kitty? Aren't you so pretty with your pink bow?" The owner fawned over her cat, who looked thoroughly pissed off. Abby translated what Mi Mi was saying and Hiei soon learned that Mi Mi did not like bows. So of course, he put one on her. Despite the fact that he was a demon, Hiei still managed to end up looking like a cat scratching post. Most of the cat's attacks were focused on the face. Hiei counted 16 scratches there. He'll need to get that checked. _

_WolfRunner: for those who are wondering about the changed form, my computer's giving me a hard time. Sorry that I made your cat sound mean but, have you tried giving a cat a bath. I have to give mine a bath cause she got herself covered in tree sap, not fun. There's also the fact that cat's always make liars out of you. You tell people that they're little angels and…well you get the picture. REVIEWS PLEASE!_

_WolfRunner: Also I'm sorry I made this a short one, I feel like crap._

_Hiei: You look like it too, *ZAP!* STOP THAT *ZAP!*_


	3. Devil Dog :D

WolfRunner: HA! Author's block cleared! I can write now

Kurama: I thought you were playing Dragon Age II?

WolfRunner: Shush! The readers aren't supposed to know that!

Kurama: But you put it on your profi-

WolfRunner: REVIEWS! Let us go over the reviews

Kurama: *sigh*

MikaUchiha666: Lu Lu huh? She is evil? I'm not sure about that *Turns head* Oh look a puppy! AHHHHH!

Yaoifangirlmolly: Eh? What? You make no sense! What's a Grimmjow and a Ulquiorra? I'm so confused!Hiei: Isn't that your natural state? *ZAP*

Phantomxofxmystery: Ha! Got that beat! Imagine a pair a siblings out in the backyard with the hose and doggy shampoo facing 2 goldens covered in goose poop. Not fun. Not sure HOW the two found the goose poop considering it was spring and there aren't geese in Maryland that time of year, but hey.

Aristania: You have no idea how good that made me feel thanks :DWolfRunner: One last thing, believe it or not I update my profile often. Mostly I update Life Outside of Fanfiction, The Rant Box, and Quotes From Everywhere. Go for the quotes so you can laugh at the sillyness!

Disclaimer: (Sasuke) WolfRunner does not own Yu Yu HakushoWolfRunner: GO AWAY VILE CREATURE! DOES NOT LIKE! EVIL! EEEEEEEVIIIIILLLLL!

"_So then the ferret says 'my what big teeth you have.' What do you say to that?_" Abby asked. Hiei shrugged. It was a slow day at Harry's Happy Pets. Most of the squirrels are exploring the pet store. Abby just wanted to talk to Hiei and Hiei was keeping Lee after he tried to eat a large percentage of the fish population. Hiei is starting to think that Lee has a vacuum for a stomach.

Just then the door opened. Hiei looked up to see an old man walk in with a schnauzer under one arm. Abby shuddered at the little dog and jumped into Hiei's coat. Hiei looked confused but didn't say anything.

"Excuse me, but I'm going away on a business trip and I would like to place Lu Lu here while I'm away." The old man wheezed. At the sound of her name, Lu Lu wagged her stub of a tail. Hiei held back a sigh and gave the old man papers to fill out. He signed them and gave Hiei the puppy as well as a leash, doggie bed, and other doggie essentials. The old man then told Hiei how to feed her and other things on how to take care of a dog before he shuffled out of the store.

Hiei held the dog out to take a good look at it. Suddenly it grinned, evilly. Out of shock, Hiei dropped it. It landed on it's feet and ran deeper into the store. Hiei ran after it, silently cursing Koenma for this. Hiei saw the little bastard in the dog food section. She managed to opened a giant bag of kibble and spilled a large majority of its contents on the floor.

"_It is evil! Evil I say!_" Abby cried. Hiei ignored her and sprang after Lu Lu, who barked and ran off. She then ran into the birds section, and growled at the birds there. The birds, led by Swirl, proceeded to shriek at it and tried to dive bomb the dog as best as they could within bars. Hiei was about to charge in when he got an idea. It was against the rules, but he ignored that. He used his extreme speed, grabbed the demon dog by the scruff. Lu Lu yelped and tried to squirm out of Hiei's grasp, but Hiei held firm. He walked Lu Lu over to the kennels and put her in one with her bed and toys. Lu Lu then tried a different approach. She bowed her head and looked at Hiei with sad brown eyes, going from devil to angel in a heartbeat. It was Hiei's turn to grin this time.

"Nice try, I'm immune to your 'charms'." Hiei walked off with a slight spring to his step. Abby poked her head out.

"Glad that nightmare's over with." Hiei said.

"_no it's not" _Abby said

"What do you mean?" _"You have to watch over Lu Lu for a whole week remember?_" Hiei stopped. Abby jumped off his shoulder as he shuddered with contained rage.

**Meanwhile**

The teacher stopped in mid sentence. The students looked confused when a loud, pain filled scream echoed from, what seemed to be, across the city. Kurama shook his head when he recognized the voice.

_WolfRunner: Note, my next door neighbor has a schnauzer, the damn thing won't shut up, and the stupid flea bag bugs my cats and dogs. And yes, if you piss off a bird they will hold a grudge and try to attack you with excrement, my nephew learned this the hard way. Yes, I am making Swirl and Lu Lu reoccurring characters, I am evil and I love it. Anyway please review and if anyone finds a good story with Youko and Shuichi as the main characters can ya let me know, those are my favorite characters ^.^_

_Hiei: What about me? *ZAP!*WolfRunner: You're fun to torture._


	4. Snakes Out

WolfRunner: Hi -

Yusuke: DON'T EVEN START!WolfRunner: What?Yusuke: You've been neglecting your fans so you can sit on your arse and watch Buffy.

WolfRunner: (Hits Yusuke with frying pan) Anyway, yes I have been lazy but I suddenly got hit with an idea, and I got the bump to prove it, (Rubs head) So I'm going to steel myself and force me to write this

Aristania: Glad ya do :D

MikaUchiha666: I am enjoying it, immensely, ZAP!FireStorm1991: I think the worst that will happen is he'll turn purple and pass out. I can't kill off my main character, then I can't abuse him (Hiei: Joy ZAP!)

Phantomxofxmystery: VICTORY BY FORFEIT!WolfRunner: Me no ownie of - ah screw it - I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho…WHY CRUEL WORLD? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

SCREECH! SCREECH!"Shut up Swirl!"

YAP! YAP! YAP!

"Shut up Lu Lu!"_And this one time at band camp…_

"Shut up Bushtail!" Hiei folded his arms and but his head in it. He was so bored and agitated, this was not work $10.50 an hour. He finally got used to the smell and the squirrels liked the rodents and even some of the lizards. Of course Hiei still had to deal with devil dog and demon bird. He needed an iPod.

YAP! YAP! YAP!

Something snapped in Hiei.

"THAT'S IT! YOU'RE NOW A MEXICAN HAIRLESS YOU LITTLE -" He looked up to see the oaf with a carrier in his hand. He had a confused on his face, then he bit his lip and Hiei knew what was coming.

"Laugh and you die." He warned. That was the break in the dam as Kuwabara burst into laughter. A vein appeared on Hiei's forehead. Kuwabara fell to the ground laughing and sputtering for air.

"You -you're - BWAHAHAHA!"

Once kick to the stomach later Kuwabara was on his feet sniffing to stop himself.

"What are you doing here?" Kuwabara asked.

"Hn, I could ask you the same thing."

"I was dropping my kitty off for a little bit, Sis can't watch over her this time." He unlocked the carrier and pulled out Eikichi who zoomed in on Bushtail in Hiei's coat and hissed.

_DEVIL CAT! _He screeched and ran off. Eikichi ran after him. Kuwabara looked confused.

"HEY! Those squirrels were in my closet!"

"Give him a 500 pound cat and he's fine but he can't handle a 12 pound cat…" Hiei muttered and ran after the cat who was pawing at the squirrels who enclosed themselves in the hamster case. Hiei swooped up the cat and put it in the cat kennel, suddenly the murderous glint vanished and Eikichi curled up and went to sleep. He turned around to see a fat kid staring at the squirrels. Uh oh…

"COOL!" The kid squealed with glee, "Daddy I want a squirrel!" The kids dad nodded

"Alright, alright son," He turned to Hiei, "How much for the squirrel?"

"Uh, they're not for sale, I'm not even sure how they got in there, shoo, shoo!" He tried to get the squirrels to scram.

_Don't you shoo us! La La scolded._

"_Scram before I sell you for a dollar." Hiei muttered so only they could hear. La La gulped and ran off. Hiei turned to the customers._

"_Sorry bout that, is there anything you want?" Hiei asked._

"_SNAKE!" The fat kid cried as he ran to the reptile exhibit. Looking at the boa constrictor. Hiei sighed as the kid once again asked for it and the man once again said yes. Hiei took the guys money and put the snake in a carrier. The pair walked off but then Hiei heard a soft 'plop' He looked up and saw a tail slither by. There's a snake on the loose._

_WolfRunner: Sorry it's so short but its sweet. Short and sweet!Hiei: There are two different events in this! What's the point?WolfRunner: Nothing! Just pointless torture._

_Hiei: Why you -_

_WolfRunner: Eep! (Tries to ZAP! Hiei but couldn't find the zapper)Hiei: Looking for this?WolfRunner: KURAMA HELP ME! HIEI STOLE THE ZAPPER!_


End file.
